my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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