I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
