True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
