Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
