Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
