it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
