I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
