did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
