You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
