You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize