I want to have your abortion
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
