Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
