Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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