Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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