plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
