just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's blow job season.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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