Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
