I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
