I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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