Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
