When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
