My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
