They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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