I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize