I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
