I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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