he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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