nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my shit smells like andre
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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