i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
