it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
