Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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