playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
