sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
