He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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