We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....