This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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