We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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