My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
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I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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