She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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