You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
