summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize