Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize