So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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