my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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