I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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