wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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