I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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