This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
