Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
