My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
