we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
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