Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize