he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize