Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
