Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sext me about skeletons
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
