My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
